The Catholic Way to Celebrate a Birthday

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The Catholic Way to Celebrate a Birthday
Rachel Lee Lozowski

TIA | October 14, 2024

A reader asked us how a Catholic should celebrate his or her birthday in a meritorious or traditional way as it was done in the past.

Perhaps the best way to begin to understand the true Catholic spirit of birthdays is to imitate Our Lady, whose commemoration of her nativity is recorded in The Mystical City of God: The Coronation by Ven. Mary of Agreda, (Chap. XII):

“She celebrated [her birth] on the eighth of September, on the day on which she was born. She began on the evening before with the same prostrations and canticles as she made to honor the feast of her Conception. She gave thanks for having been born to life into the light of this world, and for the favor of having been raised to Heaven in the hour of her birth to look upon the Divinity intuitively, as I have narrated in the first part of this history.

“She resolved anew to spend her whole life in fulfilling the pleasure of the Lord, acknowledging that for this purpose alone it was given to her. … She asked the Lord to lend her His assistance, govern her in all her actions and lead her to the highest end proposed for His glory.

“As for the rest concerning this feast, although she was not raised to Heaven as on the day of her Conception, yet her Divine Son came down with many choirs of the Angels, with the Patriarchs and Prophets, and with St. Joachim, St. Anne and St. Joseph. With this company Christ our Savior descended in order to celebrate the birthday of His Most Blessed Mother upon earth.

“And this purest of creatures, in the presence of that celestial company, adored the Lord with wonderful reverence and worship, and again expressed her thankful acknowledgment for having been placed upon the earth and for the benefits connected therewith.” (pp. 524-532)

The Nativity of Our Lady

Our Lady then gives instructions to Mary of Agreda on how to celebrate her birthday:

“On the day of your birth into the world, you should render special thanks to the Lord in imitation of me and perform some extra work in His service. Above all you should resolve thenceforth to amend thy life and to commence to labor in this anew. And all mortals, instead of spending the anniversary of their birth in demonstration of vain earthly joy, should make similar resolutions.” (p. 532)

With these admirable instructions given to us by Our Lady, it would seem fitting to attend Mass on one’s birthday, if time and duty allows. The thoughts and practices on the day should often be focused on gratitude to God as our Creator and submission to Divine Providence, described so perfectly above. However, although Our Lady warns against demonstrations of “vain earthly joy,” it is not contrary to the Catholic spirit to have an innocent and joyful celebration according to one’s means.


History of the celebration of birthdays

In the mind of the Church, the death day of a saint is considered to be his birth day to new life in Heaven; for this reason the traditional day for a saint’s feast is assigned on the death day. In the Roman Martyrology, the beginning of an entry of the saint’s death day often describes the date as the “natalis” (“the birthday of”) the saint who is commemorated.

The early Christians rejected the lavish birthday feasts, as Herod’s birthday above, & saw the true birthday of a Saint to be his death day when he entered the Eternal Kingdom

St. Ambrose declares that “the day of our burial is called our birthday (natalis) because, being set free from the prison of our crimes, we are born to the liberty of the Savior.” He continues: “Wherefore this day is observed as a great celebration, for it is in truth a festival of the highest order to be dead to our vices and to live to righteousness alone.” (Serm. 57, de Depos. St. Eusebii)

The death day was referred to as the natalis or birthday since at least 150 A.D. when the Christians of Smyrna describe in writing how they honored the bones of St. Polycarp, “which are more valuable than precious stones and finer than refined gold.” Thus, they “laid them in a suitable place where the Lord will permit us to gather ourselves together, as we are able, in gladness and joy and to celebrate the birthday of his martyrdom.”

In the early days of the Church, Christians did not celebrate birthdays since it was a pagan custom of the Roman society. Origen argues that “of all the holy people in the Scriptures, no one is recorded to have kept a feast or held a great banquet on his birthday. It is only sinners (like Pharaoh and Herod) who make great rejoicings over the day on which they were born into this world below.” (Origen, in Levit., Hom. VIII, in Migne P.G., XII, 495)

The Early Christians instead considered their true “day of birth” to be their Baptism day, when they were made children of God. In the fourth century, after paganism’s hold on Roman society began to dwindle and the Nativity of Our Lord began to be celebrated publicly, some Catholic Romans of upper classes began to celebrate birthdays. By medieval times, the nobility celebrated their actual birthdays with grand feasts and pageants.


Name day celebrations

While the nobles celebrated their birth day, the peasantry more commonly celebrated their Name Day with more simple celebrations befitting their condition. Up until the 20th century, many Catholic countries celebrated Name Days instead of (or in addition to) birthdays. The Name Day is the feast day of the patron saint after whom a person is named. In many Catholic families of the past, children were named after the saint on whose feast day they were born, so the birthday and Name Day were the same day.

Medieval nobles celebrated birthdays with marvelous feasts

On a person’s name day, he attended Mass in the morning. In the afternoon all of his friends, family members and neighbors visited him and offered good wishes, and he enjoyed special celebratory foods. In some places, the person celebrating his Name Day provided the food for the feast and invited others to partake of the feast. During the festive meal, toasts were made in honor of the person and their patron saint.

In Lithuania, people decorated the door of the person whose Name Day it was and adorned his seat in the dining room with ribbons and flowers. During the meal, he was given a sash to wear with his saint’s name on it and he and the chair were hoisted three times into the air.

These Name Day customs could easily be used or adapted for birthday celebrations. Some Catholics may even find that they wish to have their main celebration on their Name Day. However or whenever a Catholic decides to celebrate, he ought to acknowledge both days and offer to God and the Saints the honor that they deserve.

Another pious custom of the past was for persons to set apart their birthday as a special festival in honor of their Guardian Angels. They would treat the birthday exactly as they would the festivals of the great Saints they honor, both in the way of preparation and in keeping the octave. In addition one would give as many alms as his years in honor as his Guardian Angel, or else make as many acts of virtue or devotion to their amiable Guardian. (Henri-Marie Boudon, Devotion to the Nine Choirs of Holy Angels, London: Burns, Oates, & Co, 1869, p. 157)


Celebrating birthdays as traditional Catholics

Birthdays as they are celebrated today are often filled with vulgarity, silliness and worldliness, especially amongst people without Faith. There is also a tendency among many toward extravagance, making each birthday a kind of secular and often expensive event. The common customs that we associate with birthdays, however, are not bad in themselves.

The custom of topping birthday cakes with candles denoting the age, and the ceremony of blowing out the candles and cutting the cake, seem to have originated in the late 18th century when they were popularized in Germany during birthdays of children of wealthy families.

A worldly party without ceremony; below, a family’s simple but joyful celebration of the baby’s first birthday with cake & family

Despite their more recent appearance, these customs can still be included in a traditional Catholic birthday celebration. There is no one way of celebrating a birthday. Different families, villages and regions should develop their own customs and foods, as they did in the past.

To avoid merely giving into the “vain earthly joy” that Our Lady warns about in the beginning of this article, a person should consider the primary duty on his birthday to give thanks to God, especially by attending Mass, giving alms, performing extra prayers and devotions, etc.

Celebrations should be filled with joy, but also be tempered by virtue ,seriousness, and sacrality. The dining hall should be decorated elegantly, the conversation should be edifying, and toasts and good wishes ought to be directed towards the good of the person’s soul and the fulfillment of his vocation.


Sources:
1. Orly Redlich, The Concept of Birthday: A Theoretical, Historical, and Social Overview, in Judaism and Other Cultures (The World Academy of Science, Engineering and Technology International Journal of Humanities and Social Sciences vol:14, n:9, 2020) pp. 791-792. (https://www.researchgate.net/profile/Orl...ltures.pdf)
2. https://www.newadvent.org/cathen/10709a.htm
3. https://www.lagazzettaitaliana.com/histo...n-name-day
4. https://www.fisheaters.com/namedays.html
5. Mary Gage and James Gage, “Birthday Cakes: History & Recipes” (https://www.newenglandrecipes.org/Birthday-Cake.pdf)